Standing Water Tips

A

Amphipoda

Guest
(Re-post) from Wed, 26 Jul 2000

Standing Water Tips

The Amphicar Safety-Watch Presents - Standing
Water Tips:
Standing water can strike without warning, and being
prepared for such an opportunity can mean the
difference between life and boredom. Here are some
tips to help you and your loved ones make it through a
standing water situation:

1. Those living in areas prone to standing water
can respond quickly to the situation by owning a fully
functional Amphicar - note: all other vehicles are
prone to extremely short voyages.

2. To minimize loss and damage in standing water, try
not to own things unless they are Amphicar related
tools, parts, accessories, and/or are waterproof.

3. Experiencing standing water can be terrifying, but
a majority of people caught in standing water do
survive, assuming the will to live overrides the
opportunity to drown.

4. When encountering the outer banks of standing
water, try to resist the temptation to eat your
pets and houseplants. Remain calm and enter the water
at speeds of less than 70 mph.

5. Practice your snorkeling skills and holding your
breath ahead of time.

6. Look out your windshield often. If you see a large
body of standing water check your hood locks, bilge
plug, and lower door locks prior to water entry.
Checking these items after water entry can be done,
however it is somewhat less efficient.

7. For those who fear standing water, it may
comfort you to know that a majority of the damage
caused by standing water is imaginary.

8. If your Amphicar is unavailable, a building roof
is the safest place to be during standing water.
Eat, sleep and work on your roof.

9. Be sure to mail your Amphicar insurance payments a
full five business days before standing water strikes.

10. In the event of standing water, get inside your
Amphicar or atop some other suitable floatation
device such as a buoy, or your child's babysitter. Do
not even consider using a real boat, since such
devices are the work of the devil.

11. In the unlikely event your Amphicar allows
standing water to enter the cabin... first try your
bilge pump. If that does not work it is advised you
seek dry land immediately. If dry land is beyond
reach... do you have a treasured childhood toy?
Perhaps a stuffed animal, such as a turtle or
platypus? Well, let's see if Mr. Platypus can help
you now.

Be well, swim safe.

Amphipoda
'64 Turquoise
San Diego, CA
 
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