Phases of Amphi Adoption:

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Phases of Amphi Adoption:

Perhaps you've noticed this. There appear to be
phases of Amphi adoption and acclimation into
our families. I've taken the liberty of briefly out-
lining these phases below - not for the benefit of
newbies or veterans, but for my own mental well
being (such as it is).

Phase 1: Deciding you want to adopt an Amphi.
You've matured to the point where you decide an
Amphi must share in your life. Perhaps you want
to leave a legacy or maybe you just think another
tax deduction & mouth to feed would be fun. Or
maybe you just want to show up the coffee maker
by proving you are capable of adrenalin rushes
despite the rolling power outages.

Phase 2: Selecting which Amphi to adopt. Amphi
selection is a complex topic, one worthy of an entire
posting in its self, but needless to say it is a matter
of economic wealth and patience. One's nurturing
instincts can be tested when adoption consists of a
handicapped or less than perfect Amphi. And deciding
which sex to adopt is yet another task not to be taken
lightly. It goes without saying, but I'll say it anyway,
Amphi's need their own room and it's never too soon
to begin saving for Amphi's college fund.

Phase 3: Amphi comes home for the first time. Amphi
must be gradually introduced to each member of the
family. The shock of new surroundings can be very
traumatic and great care must be taken to prevent Amphi
traumatization. When acclimating Amphi into a large
family it is best to send the kids off to camp until Amphi
has had a chance to get his/her feet wet.

Phase 4: Amphi's first swim: Although the aquatic
instincts are highly pronounced in Amphi, extreme
care must be taken when making that first outing.
You as parents are needed to carefully gauge Amphi's
ability to swim and interact in public. Knowing your
Amphi's limitations will greatly enhance the experience
for both of you. Spend time telling your Amphi what
the expectations are and give positive reinforcement
at every opportunity.

Phase 5: The Amphi routine: Now that Amphi has
become a member of the family it is up to you as
parents to provide continued guidance and leadership
to help shape Amphi's future. Encourage Amphi to
be adventurous yet cautious, and always be willing
to help Amphi learn the `ins & outs' of the modern
world. Also refer to prior Amphipoda postings
(especially "Care & Feeding of Amphi").

Phase 6: When Amphi must leave the nest: There
comes a time in every Amphi's life when they must
move on and make their mark on the world. As
parents this will be the most difficult time in your
lives. Amphi's room will undoubtedly become a
shrine and all visitors to the household will be
subjected to endless home movies and volumes
of photo albums. But take comfort in knowing
that if you've been good parents your Amphi will
write you letters and maybe even come around for
holiday visits.

Amphipoda
`64 Turquoise
Sandy Eggo, CA
 

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