B
buoyant3
Guest
1. Never fix anything that is not broken.
2. The nut or bolt which is the most difficult to reach will
always be stripped or seized.
3. No tool will ever be found again, once it is put down.
4. Nothing is ever put back together in the reverse of the way
it is dismantled.
5. One last pull on a nut or bolt to make sure it is tight, will
always strip it or snap it off; but if it doesn't get that extra pull
it will always loosen and fall off or into the bilge.
6. Bright clean and new parts are always defective, but dirty,
greasy old ones work fine, unless they are cleaned.
7. During a road or shore side repair, with the wrong parts
being used, the fit will be perfect and the repair permanent.
8. A prospective purchaser attempting to start the car will
usually cause ignition failure or flooding of the carburetor.
9. If a part is carried as a spare, it can either never be found
or will not fit when it is needed, and if the spare comes in
different sizes or left or rights, the one you need is not the one
you have.
10. If, when removing an irreplaceable nut or bold, it is dropped
on a spotlessly clean floor, it will be heard to hit the floor and
then vanish forever.
11. Any tool dropped while working on your car will automatically
roll to the geographical center of the car.
12. The probability of a car starting is inversely proportional
to the number of people standing nearby watching.
13. The probability of paint running is directly proportional to
the degree of prominence of the panel being painted.
14. A tire will only go flat when the jack or lug wrench has been
left at home.
15. Any starter motor or generator will work perfectly when bench
tested, It will only cease to function once it has been installed on
the car.
16. When you double-check everything prior to using your car, you
stand a greater chance of running out of gas.
17. Carrying an extra set of points, plugs, coil and condenser
will usually result in the rupture of the lower radiator hose.
18. The best way to locate a part in better condition is to send
the one you have to a professional restorer or chrome plater. (See
number 6)
2. The nut or bolt which is the most difficult to reach will
always be stripped or seized.
3. No tool will ever be found again, once it is put down.
4. Nothing is ever put back together in the reverse of the way
it is dismantled.
5. One last pull on a nut or bolt to make sure it is tight, will
always strip it or snap it off; but if it doesn't get that extra pull
it will always loosen and fall off or into the bilge.
6. Bright clean and new parts are always defective, but dirty,
greasy old ones work fine, unless they are cleaned.
7. During a road or shore side repair, with the wrong parts
being used, the fit will be perfect and the repair permanent.
8. A prospective purchaser attempting to start the car will
usually cause ignition failure or flooding of the carburetor.
9. If a part is carried as a spare, it can either never be found
or will not fit when it is needed, and if the spare comes in
different sizes or left or rights, the one you need is not the one
you have.
10. If, when removing an irreplaceable nut or bold, it is dropped
on a spotlessly clean floor, it will be heard to hit the floor and
then vanish forever.
11. Any tool dropped while working on your car will automatically
roll to the geographical center of the car.
12. The probability of a car starting is inversely proportional
to the number of people standing nearby watching.
13. The probability of paint running is directly proportional to
the degree of prominence of the panel being painted.
14. A tire will only go flat when the jack or lug wrench has been
left at home.
15. Any starter motor or generator will work perfectly when bench
tested, It will only cease to function once it has been installed on
the car.
16. When you double-check everything prior to using your car, you
stand a greater chance of running out of gas.
17. Carrying an extra set of points, plugs, coil and condenser
will usually result in the rupture of the lower radiator hose.
18. The best way to locate a part in better condition is to send
the one you have to a professional restorer or chrome plater. (See
number 6)
