Lucas Aphorisms

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Bernie Soldate

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<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Arial">The three position Lucas switch - Dim, Flicker and Off.</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><br style="mso-special-character: line-break"><o:p></o:p></span>


<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Arial">Lucas - Prince of Darkness</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: Arial">

Lucas - Inventor of the first intermittent wiper.

Or what about the other 3 settings: Smoke, Smolder and Burn?

"The British drink warm beer because they have Lucas refrigerators."

"I have had a Lucas Pacemaker for years and never had any trou........"

How to make AIDS disappear? Give it a Lucas parts number.

Lucas systems actually use AC current; it just has a random frequency that's all.

It is not true that Lucas, in 1947, tried to get Parliament to repealOhm's law.</span>
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<span style="FONT-FAMILY: Arial">They withdrew their efforts when they met too muchresistance.</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: Arial">

QA called and told the engineer they had trouble with his designshorting out so he made the wires longer.

Recently, Lucas won out over Bosch to supply the electrical for the new Volkswagens.So, now the cars from the Black Forest will come with electrics supplied by the Lord of Darkness -- how appropriate!

Alexander Graham Bell invented the Telephone.
Thomas Edison invented the Light Bulb.
Joseph Lucas invented the Short Circuit.

Recommended procedure before taking on repair of Lucas equipment:
Check the position of the stars, kill a chicken, and walk 3 times sunwise around your car chanting<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>"Oh, mighty Prince protect yourunworthy servant</span><font face="Times New Roman">..."</font>



<font size="2">Bernie Soldate
136 Stratton Brook Road
Simsbury, Connecticut 06070-2309
860 651-4220 Fax 860 651-7700
E-Mail berniesoldate@pobox.com <mailto:berniesoldate@pobox.com>
Member
The International Amphicar Owners Club
1966 Amphicar Red RubberDucky
1967 Amphicar Red TubToy
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