A
amphipoda
Guest
List of Looks
Date: Tue, 29 Jun 1999 15:37:21
Ever notice those stares, looks, glances,
and gawks when in the presence of Amphi?
Sure you have, in fact I'll bet you look
forward to seeing those very responses to
Amphi. I've taken a few notes during my
travels and compiled this "List of Looks."
It's not an all inclusive listing, many of
them could be combined, and variations do
crop up, but I think I captured the essence
of the various types of Amphi observer looks...
1. The Slack Jaw Gawk - Characterized by wide
eyed stares and an open mouth, chin resting
on or about the chest (or in extreme cases on
the ground). A classic look of shock and
dismay most commonly displayed by middle aged
females.
2. Teethy Grin Look - Characterized by fully
or semi retracted lips, exposed clenched teeth
(sort of chimpanzee like), the corners of the
mouth jutting upward to form a smile similar
in presence to a split in a watermelon. A look
of pleasure often displayed by middle aged men
nearly identical to when they are thinking about
sex.
3. The Controlled Smirk - Typically exhibited by
teenage males and the elderly. This subdued
expression is characterized by a slight upward
curvature of the corners of the mouth, rarely
exposing teeth, and a mild squint. It is
theorized the young males are attempting to hide
their interest in Amphi and remain "cool," where
as the elderly are perhaps accessing Amphi memories
or displaying mild senility.
4. Double Take & Piercing Stare - Characterized by
a quick glance then an immediate second look which
lingers without blinking often until the observer
realizes it's time to moisten the eyes again and
continue blinking & breathing. This is most often
a phenomenon of teenage girls and those on roller
blades, bikes, joggers and runners.
5. Laughing Gaze - Characterized by involuntary
spasms, laughter, pointing, and a teary eyed glazed
look of a comedic orgasm. Extreme cases have been
known to actually fall backwards in hysteria,
occasionally wetting the crotch and/or expelling
beverages from the mouth and nostrils. This type
of Amphi observation is typical of repressed
intellectuals and over achievers.
6. The Dismissive Peek - Characterized by a corner
of the eye sneak look and then a very purposeful
focus in the opposite direction. This is a fairly
common response by arrogant BMW & Corvette owners
and jealous fishermen. Amphi gets more looks than
a BMW or Corvette owner ever dreamed about.
7. Wave-N-Look - This Amphi acknowledgement is
characterized by a combination of arm waving (palm
exposed) and a smiling look of admiration. The
wave is frequently substituted with a "thumbs up"
sign by young and middle aged males.
8. Curious Study - This semi obsessive intrusion
can be characterized by an up close, hands on,
approach to Amphi inquiries. This type of Amphi
admirer often asks questions in such quick succession
that they seldom actually listen to the responses.
The Curious Study is often an elderly woman or mid-life
crisis man.
9. The Human Tripod - Characterized by a wide variety
of photographic equipment supported atop a human torso
and legs. This category of observer may include all
types of still and motion photography by the amateur, the
photography buff, and the media (a.k.a. the Paparazzis).
Caution should taken when being approached by these
documentarians of Amphi annals.
10. The Howling Pointer - Characterized by instantaneous
thrusting and pointing of the index finger accompanied by
loud vocalization of astonishment. This is a relatively
common response by Californians, children, the mentally
challenged, and former Amphi owners.
Amphipoda
'64 Turquoise
San Diego, CA
Date: Tue, 29 Jun 1999 15:37:21
Ever notice those stares, looks, glances,
and gawks when in the presence of Amphi?
Sure you have, in fact I'll bet you look
forward to seeing those very responses to
Amphi. I've taken a few notes during my
travels and compiled this "List of Looks."
It's not an all inclusive listing, many of
them could be combined, and variations do
crop up, but I think I captured the essence
of the various types of Amphi observer looks...
1. The Slack Jaw Gawk - Characterized by wide
eyed stares and an open mouth, chin resting
on or about the chest (or in extreme cases on
the ground). A classic look of shock and
dismay most commonly displayed by middle aged
females.
2. Teethy Grin Look - Characterized by fully
or semi retracted lips, exposed clenched teeth
(sort of chimpanzee like), the corners of the
mouth jutting upward to form a smile similar
in presence to a split in a watermelon. A look
of pleasure often displayed by middle aged men
nearly identical to when they are thinking about
sex.
3. The Controlled Smirk - Typically exhibited by
teenage males and the elderly. This subdued
expression is characterized by a slight upward
curvature of the corners of the mouth, rarely
exposing teeth, and a mild squint. It is
theorized the young males are attempting to hide
their interest in Amphi and remain "cool," where
as the elderly are perhaps accessing Amphi memories
or displaying mild senility.
4. Double Take & Piercing Stare - Characterized by
a quick glance then an immediate second look which
lingers without blinking often until the observer
realizes it's time to moisten the eyes again and
continue blinking & breathing. This is most often
a phenomenon of teenage girls and those on roller
blades, bikes, joggers and runners.
5. Laughing Gaze - Characterized by involuntary
spasms, laughter, pointing, and a teary eyed glazed
look of a comedic orgasm. Extreme cases have been
known to actually fall backwards in hysteria,
occasionally wetting the crotch and/or expelling
beverages from the mouth and nostrils. This type
of Amphi observation is typical of repressed
intellectuals and over achievers.
6. The Dismissive Peek - Characterized by a corner
of the eye sneak look and then a very purposeful
focus in the opposite direction. This is a fairly
common response by arrogant BMW & Corvette owners
and jealous fishermen. Amphi gets more looks than
a BMW or Corvette owner ever dreamed about.
7. Wave-N-Look - This Amphi acknowledgement is
characterized by a combination of arm waving (palm
exposed) and a smiling look of admiration. The
wave is frequently substituted with a "thumbs up"
sign by young and middle aged males.
8. Curious Study - This semi obsessive intrusion
can be characterized by an up close, hands on,
approach to Amphi inquiries. This type of Amphi
admirer often asks questions in such quick succession
that they seldom actually listen to the responses.
The Curious Study is often an elderly woman or mid-life
crisis man.
9. The Human Tripod - Characterized by a wide variety
of photographic equipment supported atop a human torso
and legs. This category of observer may include all
types of still and motion photography by the amateur, the
photography buff, and the media (a.k.a. the Paparazzis).
Caution should taken when being approached by these
documentarians of Amphi annals.
10. The Howling Pointer - Characterized by instantaneous
thrusting and pointing of the index finger accompanied by
loud vocalization of astonishment. This is a relatively
common response by Californians, children, the mentally
challenged, and former Amphi owners.
Amphipoda
'64 Turquoise
San Diego, CA
