Fear and Loathing in Celina

A

Amphipoda

Guest
Those sneaky bartenders gave me lake water
laced with algae. Hair of the dog as it were,
which quelled the anxiety of being Amphiless
during the Lake Festival. Not that the damn
torrential rains mattered once the oppressive
heat melted what was left of my cerebral cortex.
It only served to create steam which poured
from my ears and nostrils, fogging up my glasses.
The nights were too dark, darker than a city boy
should ever have to endure. Were those actually
cars in the water or did the boats have headlights
too? Fireworks brought back memories of a
pyrotechnical induced teenage expulsion from
middle school. Fish heads, fish hats, bloated
dead fish floating in the Eagles boat slips.
Why parallel park an Amphicar in the water anyway?
Took too many attempts and then we were suddenly
going up the ramp IN REVERSE... clutch smoke filling
the interior, I can still taste it. I remember
the cop handcuffed me, my propeller beanie spinning
in the wind and then a camera flashed or was that
lightening? Then someone said we should go now,
go to the Moose and be abused. This may explain
my shattered fingers, bruised forearm and lumpy
cranium. Coolers should keep beverages cool, not
turn them into explosive hot gas cylinders. All
my clothes have the stench of sweat, bilge water
and cheap domestic beer. How did that white calk
goop get into my ears and hair? Mermaid wished
for double beds, I just needed air conditioning
and more algae water. Someone handed me the keys
but didn't say which car. I guessed well, it was
amphibious after all and stopped leaking mid lake
after I secured the door. Much bilging that day,
more than I'm used to. My passengers were clueless
or speechless or both, perhaps too terrified to say.
Even downtown I could see pulsating gill slits in
every amphibian's neck, glistening with sweat
perhaps due to wearing black t-shirts in the sun.
It was too hot to walk far without replenishing
fluids. Indoors was cooler but I yearned to return
to the water, to be with my fine finned friends and
aqueous amigos. I'm still untangling the photos
which reveal some of the highlights, but the emotions,
the tastes, the smells and the feel of the place is
left vaguely imprinted on that primitive portion of
the brain reserved for self indulgent pleasures.
I'll admit it damaged me a little, but not enough to
deter me from doing it again... some day.

Amphipoda
'64 Turquoise
San Diego, CA
 

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