Course Correction

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Amphipoda attends a boating course...
The instructor begins by handing out a class
syllabus and text book. Chapter 1 is about
driving and towing your boat. Chapter 2 is
about backing up your trailer and launching
your boat.

A~poda: Excuse me professor, may I be excused
since my boat doesn't require all that trailer stuff?

Professor: Mr Amphipoda... is that your real name?
And what do mean you don't require all that trailer
stuff? Is your boat moored in the harbor?

A~poda: No, I just sort of drive my "boat" in head
first - no trailer at all. In fact the faster the better.

Professor: Oh, I see. You have one of those little
top loading canoes or kayaks or an inflatable some-

A~poda: No, I actually drive my boat from home,
down the ramp, and into the water... 1 - 2 - 3...

Professor: Let me get this straight... you drive the
boat from your house, so I take it you live on the
water somewhere?

A~poda: No, I live about a half mile from the lake
ramp and so I just drive there from home.

Professor: No trailer you say? And not a little
boat either. Hmmm, okay, I'll bite... What the
hell kind of boat is it?

A~poda: It's a 1964 Amphicar... you know the
car that swims!

Professor: Mr. Amphipoda this is a serious boating
course and we are all here to learn the fundamentals
of safe boating. I fear you are not here to gain this
knowledge and are making fun of the situation,
therefore you are free to leave and are hereby asked
not to return.

A~poda: Whoa... I think we have a misunderstanding
here... please let me explain...

Professor: No don't bother. This is a boating course
for serious boaters - please leave NOW!

A~poda: Sheesh... what kind of crap is this?! I'm
going to report you to the Amphibious Society.
This is obviously amphibian discrimination. I've
never been so humiliated in my life. Sheesh... Hey
professor - may the sand fleas of a thousand beaches
infest your armpits!

`64 Turquoise
San Diego

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