Bilgenosis - There is hope!

C

chris_skeeles

Guest
Are you suffering from Bilgenosis? Did you know that 4 out of 5
Amphicar owners suffer from Bilgenosis while other owners continue to
remain undiagnosed? Allow me to explain to my fellow owners about the
signs of Bilgenosis and its treatment.

Bilgenosis is not a disease. It is a psychological disorder
effecting the Amphicar owner's ability to focus on anything outside
of his or hers Amphicar. This condition can become debilitating
particularly when the seats, floor mat, and floor board are removed
from the vehicle. The owner may find themselves lost in a hypnotic
stare, spending hours blankly gazing into the bottoms of his or hers
bilge.

Fits of Bilgenosis can occur at random, but are usually triggered
during times of stress and/or pressure. For instance the owner is
more likely to suffer an attack of Bilgenosis when he encounters the
naked Amphicar bilge on his or hers way to do something else
important, thus preventing him or her from completing the initial
task. Bilgenosis has a reputation of striking at the least convenient
time.

If left untreated Bilgenosis can develop into a more serious and
dangerous condition where the owner begins to fix things that should
not be fixed then making that item now needing fixing yet he or she
cannot fix it. (more on this fixation at another time, get it?)

There is hope! Bilgenosis is treatable. With proper support and
practice those who suffer from Bilgenosis can continue to lead happy
and normal Amphicar owner lives. Here are some tips that can help one
cope with this condition.

o At first, try to keep someone with you when working around or on
the Amphicar. They can snap you out of your momentary lapse of reason.

o If you must examine the bilge, make sure you have no plans or
obligations to family, friends or employer. Patients have been known
to disappear for the entire day simply eyeing their spotless bilge.

o Never, and I mean, NEVER leave the Amphicar with an exposed
bilge. At the very least throw a blanket into the cabin to hide its
naked sole. Endlessly exposing the innards of the Amphicar to a
person afflicted with Bilgenosis is like sending a recovering drug
addict to Holland.

With these three tips perhaps someone you know that is suffering
with Bilgenosis can begin to take control of their amphibious lives.

Chris Skeeles
-Red '63
 
T

Taylor, Craig M.

Guest
Chris,
Have you been talking with my fianc?e????
She is thoroughly convinced I'm a nut case when it comes to my Amphicar.
With any luck I'll get it in the water this summer, take her for a ride, and
she will wind up as screwed up as I am. :)
Craig in Alaska
-----Original Message-----
From: chris_skeeles [mailto:chris@skeeles.com]
Sent: Sunday, April 07, 2002 5:09 AM
To: amphicar-lovers@yahoogroups.com
Subject: [amphicar-lovers] Bilgenosis - There is hope!




Are you suffering from Bilgenosis? Did you know that 4 out of 5
Amphicar owners suffer from Bilgenosis while other owners continue to
remain undiagnosed? Allow me to explain to my fellow owners about the
signs of Bilgenosis and its treatment.

Bilgenosis is not a disease. It is a psychological disorder
effecting the Amphicar owner's ability to focus on anything outside
of his or hers Amphicar. This condition can become debilitating
particularly when the seats, floor mat, and floor board are removed
from the vehicle. The owner may find themselves lost in a hypnotic
stare, spending hours blankly gazing into the bottoms of his or hers
bilge.

Fits of Bilgenosis can occur at random, but are usually triggered
during times of stress and/or pressure. For instance the owner is
more likely to suffer an attack of Bilgenosis when he encounters the
naked Amphicar bilge on his or hers way to do something else
important, thus preventing him or her from completing the initial
task. Bilgenosis has a reputation of striking at the least convenient
time.

If left untreated Bilgenosis can develop into a more serious and
dangerous condition where the owner begins to fix things that should
not be fixed then making that item now needing fixing yet he or she
cannot fix it. (more on this fixation at another time, get it?)

There is hope! Bilgenosis is treatable. With proper support and
practice those who suffer from Bilgenosis can continue to lead happy
and normal Amphicar owner lives. Here are some tips that can help one
cope with this condition.

o At first, try to keep someone with you when working around or on
the Amphicar. They can snap you out of your momentary lapse of reason.

o If you must examine the bilge, make sure you have no plans or
obligations to family, friends or employer. Patients have been known
to disappear for the entire day simply eyeing their spotless bilge.

o Never, and I mean, NEVER leave the Amphicar with an exposed
bilge. At the very least throw a blanket into the cabin to hide its
naked sole. Endlessly exposing the innards of the Amphicar to a
person afflicted with Bilgenosis is like sending a recovering drug
addict to Holland.

With these three tips perhaps someone you know that is suffering
with Bilgenosis can begin to take control of their amphibious lives.

Chris Skeeles
-Red '63







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