Amphi Venting...?

Discussion in 'General Amphicar Discussion' started by, Oct 25, 2000.


    I noticed a few postings last week regarding
    Amphi venting. Now I gotta ask what in the
    world would cause an Amphi to become so
    aggravated it had to vent? Was there some
    sort of neglect or abuse involved? Surely
    everyone has read my previous advice on
    "Care of Amphi while you're away," at this address:
    Perhaps it is just an anomalous expression
    on Amphi's part, or maybe its your Amphi's
    time of the... Well, in any event you have an
    obligation to help ease your Amphi's discomfort.
    To that end I have compiled the following short
    list of things you can do to bring a smile back to
    your venting Amphi.

    1. Take Amphi to a drive-in theater, preferably
    a comedy or a German/African soft porn with
    monkeys, Amphis, and gratuitous frolicking.
    (Still waiting for that re-release date Bilgemaster)

    2. Buy your Amphi some chocolate bars. Believe
    it or not - Amphi loves chocolate. I know cause
    I hide chocolate from my Mermaid wife inside of
    our Amphi's glovebox and it's never there when I
    go to eat some.

    3. Hire a clown, magician, or one of those long
    skinny balloon folding dudes to put on a show
    for Amphi. But avoid at all cost any of those
    white faced pantomime people - these terrify
    Amphi like marauding hippopotami.

    4. Give Amphi a wash, wax, and back rub. As
    far as I know nothing relieves Amphi's tension
    like a prolonged back rub. But be sure to give a
    little tickle now and then so Amphi doesn't fall

    5. Take Amphi for a swim! I'm not talking
    about a typical dunk, but something much more
    special with all the trim, flare, and flags you can
    find. Make it a special event for Amphi and be
    sure to wear your best black wetsuit and red
    propeller beanie hat.

    Given these helpful hints on restoring Amphi's
    mental well being I am confident that any and
    all venting Amphis will quickly be back on the
    path to happy and healthy buoyancy.

    Brought to you by the Amphibious Mental
    Equilibrium Sanctuary Society (AMESS)
    and yours truly...

    `64 Turquoise
    San Diego

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