A week in the life of Craig...


Craig Taylor

Hi all, Just thought I'd drop a note to the list and pass on the hair
raising adventure I had on my last R&R form the pipeline work. This may
take a minute but bare with me. Let me first say that I have had the
worst week of my life. Every time I turned around something went wrong.
Let me start at the beginning. My 10 year old step doughtier was having
a big birthday bash at the house. A 24 hour kid fest on the lake. I had
a house full of little girls all weekend long. :) A big change from
the bachelor pad I had just a year ago...
Day one.
The kids will be over tomorrow so I bring the Amphi across the lake in
preparation for lots of Amphi rides. Once home I get the hair brained
idea to try and make a make shift boat ramp out of plywood to get the
car on land at the house. For those who don't know I'm remote and
commute by boat in the summer. Well first I have to say I'm a complete
jack a$$... Just ask my new wife. While I was attempting to drive out
on the ply wood she was standing on it near the front of the car, bare
foot. Her is where it got ugly... My amphicar pushed the plywood
forward and into her foot. Removing her big toe nail in the process...
See I'm an Idiot... If you have ever seen the exorcist you know the
look she gave me when I ram to her aid... I wont go into the details
but I felt horrible for that one.
Day two.
Today I got the bright idea to make a second attempt at the plywood
boat ramp thing. Yes I'm that stupid some times. I spent the afternoon
screwing the plywood together with 2x6 boards to keep it from moving as
I drive out of the water... Work fine until the Amphi's weight turned
the rear wheels into a plywood conveyer belt... Remember the mud I was
trying to get the car over and out of the water? My poor Amphi was know
door deep in the muck. And I did this in front of a pack of giggling
ten year old girls... Thank fully I had a cooler in the back seat and
spent the afternoon drinking and laughing at myself.
Day 3 Not to much went wrong today... Unless you would be distressed by
dropping your new cell phone complete with a new vibrating battery into
the lake. Remember the dreaded muck? My phone has been swallowed up and
after an hour of work with a fish net and pulling up gallons of the
smelly stuff I go back to the cooler in the Amphi which by the way is
still stuck...
Day four.
Today started out well. I had two big guys and a boat give a mighty
heave ho on the poor Amphi and she is now floating once again. Looks
like time for a ride right? Dead battery... Charge battery and try to
start Amphi. Not firing right up a usual... Pump the gas some more and
give it another crank... Amphi back fires and blows a hole on the
bottom of the j pipe which in turn ignites my oily bilge... Picture if
you will a frantic idiot kneeling in the back seat, bucket in hand,
filling his floating Amphicar with water as fast as possible... I'm
imagining sinking the car with a five gallon bucket. At least the fire
would have goon out. Ever try to put out a gas fire with water? Doesn't
work very well. I was shouting like a wild man for the fire
extinguisher from the boat next to the car but everyone on the dock
couldn't understand a word I was shouting. Finely some one who
understood frantic babble got the extinguisher to me and the fire was
put out. Thankfully not to much harm came to Amphi. I managed to keep
the flames down but the poor car is in need of some real cleaning. I
spent the rest of the day on the end of my dock with a beer in my hand.
Scared to even move for fear of screwing something else up...
Day five.
I got up the courage to move the Amphicar back to storage. Towed the
car across the lake, loots of hooting and hollering form the neighbors.
Its a small town and everyone was out to see the A 1 class idiot and
his car make the crossing. Lots of bets going on just how far I'd get
and what I'd screw up today. Got the car across and safely into the
storage. Thank god... On the way home my wife's car died on me. Turned
out to be the alternator. So yes something else went to hell this day
Day six.
Today I had to make a run to Fairbanks for the home inspection on the
house I'm buying. Wife's car is still dead so I used the old 71 ford
plow truck. 700 miles round trip with no car trouble... Until... As
near as I can figure it happened when I reached into my pants pocket
while driving. Some loose change came out with my hand and fell in my
lap. I tossed it on the dash and kept on going. I stopped for a pee
break and as I got out of the truck heard some more of the change hit
the ground. Sounded a little different then coins should but I didn't
think too much about it. I gathered it up, did my business, and got on
my way. About a half hour later I notice my wedding band is missing...
I had the dam thing all of eight weeks...
On a good note it has now been four days with out me screwing up
anything... I'll keep you all posted but I think I got it licked. God I
hope so because my poor wife can't take much more of this...

Craig, the idiot in Alaska
Red 66
PS, I hope you all enjoy my misery. It was just too much to not
share. :)

Craig in Alaska
Red 66


--- In amphicar-lovers@y..., Craig Taylor <alaskanamphi@g...> wrote:

> idea to try and make a make shift boat ramp out of plywood to get
> car on land at the house. For those who don't know I'm remote and
> commute by boat in the summer

> my way. About a half hour later I notice my wedding band is
> Craig, the idiot in Alaska
> Red 66


I am glad you have Amphi safe in storage. I know personally how
frightening a fire can be, as I had an oil cooler failure at Mt. Dora
in 2002.

As for the ramp, I have seen a ramp that was fashioned from old
chain link fence. It was secured with stake-hooks and looked like it
was a winner. Could be an idea.

Your new wife must be understanding allowing you to actually come
home from a 700 mile trip without your wedding band. Hmmmm. <grin>

Chris Skeeles
63 Red